Positive Fatherhood #3

What is your name of your children? 
Ethan, and I have 3 children; Seth (6), Aiden (3), Keegan (1)

Where do you live?

Illinois

What is your favorite thing about being a father?

Sharing my life with my boys.

What was/is one of your favorite things to do with your children?

Wrestling on our basement floor.

What has been the most helpful thing for you in being a father?

Besides prayer, other men to speak into my life.

What is one piece of advice you have for other fathers?
Don’t be too stubborn to ask for forgiveness from your children and show that you make mistakes and need forgiveness too.

Do you have a favorite story (something funny, a mistake you made that you learned from, a special memory, etc.) that you would like to share?
In the middle of the night, I was awakened by my toddler who had to use the bathroom. He was a few weeks into potty training and I thought my son got the gist of standing up. Half asleep I stood him up in front of the toilet and let go of him while he was peeing. Losing his balance, he fell hands first into the toilet. We went from a middle of the night bathroom break to a full body hose down. 

Positive Fatherhood #2

What is your name of your children? 

Miriam 10, Maggie 7, Evelyn 3, Gavin 1

Where do you live?

Iowa

What is your favorite thing about being a father?

Just being loved by my kids.  When I can be at my best, serve them well and see they way they return that spirit makes me feel like Superman.  It’s wonderful to see them grow, change and develop.  The time and effort (and money!) it takes to invest in them means other selfish things have to be set aside; but the returns are well worth it.  When my youngest daughter asks to sit on my lap, when my 2^nd oldest wants to go to the hardware store with me, or when my oldest earns a new privilege I feel like a million bucks.

What was/is one of your favorite things to do with your children?

Every Sunday night is family night.  We’ll make pizza, let the kids pick a movie and enjoy just being together.  The kids also love legos or puzzles.  When we do small projects like that together it’s great.  No stress, or pressure, just the simple enjoyment of being together.

What has been the most helpful thing for you in being a father?

A good family and church relationship.  Whether it’s other couples in my small group, the community at our local church, or the help of aunts, uncles and grandparents. Having help and support means a lot.  Kids get sick, schedules get messed up, I take on projects that are way bigger than I can finish alone, or I just desperately need to take my wife out for a date and some adult conversation.  When these things happen having support from the community of Christ makes all the difference in the world.

What is one piece of advice you have for other fathers?

1) Let your yes be yes and your no be no. and 2) Pick your battles and always win.
Per scripture I don’t want to exasperate my kids.  I want to be kind and consistent with what is expected of them, what we can do and what we can’t.  As such, if I’m parenting the way I should I communicate with them, follow up with my commitments and be consistent.  This gives them boundaries and will build the trust that Dad is fair and he can be counted on.  To that end, kids need to be kids and I shouldn’t demand that they be perfect.  It’s ok to let small, unimportant things go.  Not every battle needs to be fought.  However, there are times when kids need firm discipline and instruction.  When No means no and obedience should be expected.  These are the times that it is imperative to stand firm.

Do you have a favorite story (something funny, a mistake you made that you learned from, a special memory, etc.) that you would like to share?

Since I don’t make mistakes, I have limited things to share here but will do my best.

Several years back Miriam was taking horse lessons.  One day, the horse decided to shake its mane rather briskly.  Miriam was unaware and unsuspecting of this, as it caught her by surprise she was tossed off the horse and landed face down in the dirt.  I was watching from the side and saw the whole thing happen.  I rushed up to her and saw right away that she was ok but didn’t want the slightest thought of discouragement to enter her mind.  So I said “Hey Miriam, way to go!  You’re a real cowgirl now!”  The other instructors praised her as well for her first fall.  Miriam sniffled a couple times but then, without hesitation, climbed right back on the horse and finished her lesson.  I don’t know that I’ve ever been more proud.  Miriam had every reason to quit, but she literally got back on the horse.

Bonus:  Little kids need nutritious food and naps.  You can save time by having your kids do both at the same time!

Positive Fatherhood #1

What is your name of your children? 

Terry has 6 kids and 2 grandkids.

Felicia who is married to Mike, Zachary who is married to Morgan, Chase who is married to Alexa, Logan, Jacob, and Anna.

Where do you live?

Terry lives in Indiana

What is your favorite thing about being a father?

Pouring into the kids life's and watching them grow into adults 

What was/is one of your favorite things to do with your children?

Sitting around the table for our evening meal together. Praying, eating, and sharing about our days. This might sound boring but I remember doing this growing up with my parents and siblings. It's amazing what that time each day does to keep a family close to each other in a busy world. 

What is one piece of advice you have for other fathers?

Work harder at being a father than at your job. Don't come home from work and isolate yourself in front of the TV. Be an "involved" husband and father.

Do you have a favorite story (something funny, a mistake you made that you learned from, a special memory, etc.) that you would like to share?

A funny story.... Our youngest Anna was born in Ethiopia and loves to dance and sing. We found this used karaoke machine that we gave to her at Christmas this past year. My wife and her were singing a popular pop song and I joined in singing. She stops and looks at me and says "Dad you should stick to being in the audience with that voice!" Ouch!

The Positive Stories of Fatherhood

The other day I read an article by Dr. John DeGarmo that was entitled "What the Media is NOT Telling You About Dads Like Me." It starts off this way...

"Absent fathers. Abusive dads. Poor role models for children. Today's media is full of stories about fathers and dads who are absent in their children's lives; who harm their children with various forms of abuse; who are poor role models to their children on a variety of levels."

You can read the rest of the article here if you are interested.

Like most of our news and media, the stories about fatherhood that are "news worthy" are almost always negative. So I thought that it would be cool to write about the "other" stories. The positive stories of fatherhood.

Now, we are in no way claiming that the people in the stories we share are perfect in any way. They are real people, with real children, with real problems, who have and will make real mistakes that we can all learn something from or just simply be encouraged by.

We will be sharing these stories on our blog and on our Facebook page from time to time. Be encouraged that there are many fathers investing into the next generation.