"A Child Called It"

My son Tait, who is 13 years old, recently finished a book called "A Child Called It." This is a popular book about the true story of Dave Pelzer. I asked Tait a couple questions about the book and thought I would share his answers with you.

1. What book did you read and what made you choose to read that book?
I read the book "A Child Called It" and "The Lost Boy." I read these books because my sister had read some of them and told me about them, and they seemed interesting, so I decided to check them out from the library.

2. Give a brief description of these books.
"A Child Called It" is about a kid named Dave and how he was abused by his mother. She beat him, burned him, made him drink ammonia, and she even stabbed him. "The Lost Boy" is about when Dave entered the foster care system and all the challenges that he faced while in foster care. These books tell how he got through these really tough challenges. They also talk about what he was feeling at these times.

3. What are some of the emotions you felt as you read this book, and why?
I felt a lot of different emotions, some good and some bad. I felt mad and sad throughout the whole book. I also felt confused, not because the writing was difficult to understand, but because of the commitment the author felt towards his parents. I felt happy when things finally started to turn around for Dave.

4. Would you recommend this book to other teens, why?
I totally would recommend this book to other teens and to adults as well. Everyone can learn a lot from reading it.

5. What did you learn from reading this book?
I learned a lot from this book. I learned how foster kids might be feeling, and how hard it is for them to be known as a "foster kid."

6. If you ever had the chance to meet Dave Pelzer, what would you say to him?
If I ever have a chance to meet Dave, I would ask him "What was the hardest thing for you to get through?" and "Why did you not run away from your parents and go to the police?"

Summer Vacation!

If you are a parent, you have probably heard of the tv show "Phineas and Ferb." This is one of my favorite shows to watch with my kids because it is just as entertaining for me as it is for them. The show is all about two brothers deciding what to do with their time on summer vacation. Watch this video to see some of the ideas they come up with.

As a father, one of my goals is to help my children "see outside of themselves." One of the ways this can be done is by educating our kids about different "needs" in our community and around the world. One of the needs that we have identified is youth who are aging out of foster care. Did you know that between 36%-50% of youth who age out of foster care end up homeless within 18 months and that 64% of men who age out of foster care have been incarcerated by the time they turn 26? It is our desire to help these youth through a project we are calling Oasis. Check it out here.

I thought it would be fun to give you some ideas on how you can help make Oasis a reality and have some fun with your kids at the same time. 

1. Car Wash

What kid doesn't love to wash a car? This can be something you do in your neighborhood, and invite others to be a part and help out.

2. Lemonade Stand

Now this is a summer staple. Buy some lemonade, set up your stand, and start selling. You could also make it a competition and challenge your friends to do the same and whoever raises the most money, is the winner.

3. Garage Sale

This is another great way to raise money and get rid of that stuff you do not need. It is always fun walking your kids through the process of deciding what to sell and what to keep.

4. Collect Pop Cans

If you live in California, Connecticut, Hawaii, Iowa, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, New York, Oregon, or Vermont, this is a great way to raise money. I have found that if you offer to come get the cans people will gladly let you have them, especially if it's for a good cause.

5. Bake Sale

If you have kids who like to bake, this can be a lot of fun. This can be a great learning experience for your kids as well. 

So if you have exhausted the ideas suggested by Phineas and Ferb, try one of these ideas and help us make Oasis a reality.

100% of all donations will go to Oasis, are tax deductible, and can be made here.

Introducing...Rebecca Johnson

We are excited to introduce to you, Rebecca Johnson. Rebecca is our newest board member and we are so excited to have her on the Village to Village team.

Rebecca and her husband, Erik

We asked Rebecca a few questions to help you get to know a little more about her.

What are two unique things you like to do?
My grandma taught me to crochet and when I have free time, I like to make fun stuff for my friends and family. I also love to play soccer, I still get to play in an adult league.

What is your favorite meal?
I never grew up eating seafood, but now I love it and I never get sick of it. I especially like sushi! I also love Indian food - Tikka Masala and Butter Chicken with Naan bread. Yum!

What is your favorite movie?
Remember the Titans

In your home, where do you spend the most of your time?
In our living room curled up on our comfy couch, but lately I have been out in the garage working on creative projects.

What is something on your bucket list?
Travel to Thailand and ride an elephant, and while I am there be a part of the Thai Lantern Festival.

What are you most passionate about when it comes to caring for vulnerable children?
I want them to know that they are loved and have value. Everyone wants to be known and feel safe. Vulnerable children especially need this. I love being able to love on and invest in vulnerable children whether it means advocating for them through Village to Village, spending time with them at the Boys and Girls Club, holding them at the orphanage in India, or adopting (Lord willing, in our future). My hope is that through my actions they are able to realize the infinite love Jesus has for them and how unique and special He has made each and every one of them.

Where did you grow up?
Suburbs of Chicago, Naperville to be exact.

What college did you attend and what degree did you receive?
Indiana Wesleyan University, my degree was in Exercise Science.

How did you meet your husband, Erik?
We were both on the soccer team at Indiana Wesleyan.

Welcome aboard, Rebecca

Doesn't CASA Mean "House" in Spanish?

Do you know what a CASA is? If you were like me, I had heard of a CASA, but really had not idea what they actually did.

My CASA Class. One of these things is not like the others.

Let's start with the basics; CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocate. Let's get a little deeper. The following is taken directly from the CASA website.

Every day in this country, 1,900 children become victims of abuse or neglect, and four of them will die every day. Court Appointed Special Advocates (CASA) for Children is a network of 950 community-based programs that recruit, train and support citizen-volunteers to advocate for the best interests of abused and neglected children in courtrooms and communities. Volunteer advocates - empowered directly by the courts - offer judges the critical information they need to ensure that each child's rights and needs are being attended to while in foster care.

Volunteers stay with children until they are placed in loving permanent homes. For many abused children, a CASA volunteer is the only constant adult presence in their lives. 

In the county that I (Matt) live, Elkhart County (in Indiana), there are over 100 children who do not have a CASA. It is a great need to make sure that all children have someone who is committed to having their best interest in mind. As a CASA you have an amazing opportunity to advocate for neglected and abused children to help ensure that the child is placed into a safe and permanent home as soon as possible.

There are 950 CASA programs in 49 states, so chances are, there is one near you. You do go through special training to help prepare you to be a CASA. If you are interested in becoming a CASA go to their website and look for the local CASA program in your area. You truly can help make a difference in the lives of children in your community.

Being sworn in by the Magistrate.

How Going to the "Wrong" Conference Was the Right Thing

On April 10th, 2015 I walked, unintentionally, into a new view of my entire life and the lives of others.

The Empowered To Connect Simulcast target audience was to people who take care of adopted or foster children coming from hard places - abuse, neglect or troubled births. 

I am a single professional who's life and work deal with other professionals, but...I'm a board member of Village to Village International.  So, other than a connection to non-profit that helps children...I had no business being there.

I was wrong.

I walked away from the conference with not only a deeper compassion for all children, but all who would grow up from childhood...all people.  I saw myself in a new way.  I saw my history, my story, in a new way.  And I could understand others in a new way.

Sounds a bit grandiose.  Let me explain.

My biggest takeaway was a section they called the Attachment Dance.  In my amateur view, attachment is a psychological and relational term describing how the manner in which a primary caregiver (mother or father) consistently treats a child has significant and long lasting effects on how that child sees themselves and treats others all the way into adulthood.  

As we went through the four types of attachment: Secure, Avoidant, Ambivalent and Disorganized (I’m not going to get into specifics here), I saw that I was a classic example of one in particular ...and it wasn't the ideal (secure attachment is ideal).

Immediately upon realizing how I fit that style I saw relationships with friends, family, colleagues and clients in new ways.  What was just a mass of historical events, started to form into a coherent pattern that made much more sense.  That one concept gave me an understanding, a language, to better navigate and express relational challenges, blindspots and inclinations that I didn't have access to before.

I put it this way.  Imagine I have a favorite restaurant I go to every week year after year.  I sit down, they hand me a menu, I order, eat, pay and leave.  Then, one day, I discover that the restaurant has 3 other menus!  For years, I paid no attention to the variety of food I'd seen others order because that's what a menu was for, variety.  But what does it mean that many (most?) were ordering from a completely different menu?   They didn't simply choose things different than my normal preferences, they had choices I didn't have.  And therefore, I had choices they didn't have.  My menu was spartan, the food was consistently bland, but it had the calories I needed to get on with my life.  Another menu had a well-balanced, flavorful fare.  Still another had foods that were either 3 stars or a step above garbage.  And finally there was a menu with where some of the foods were poisoned, you just didn't know which ones.  

Knowing people were choosing from wildly different menus, would that not change how you’d see EVERY outing at that restaurant?  Would that not make you view the restaurant experience in a new way?  Would people’s responses to the food and the restaurant itself start to make more sense?

It is the same with relationships.

Ultimately, my experience at the ETC Simulcast opened me up to greater compassion and understanding of others so I can be a better uncle, friend, brother, son, colleague, professional...and that means I will have better relationships and those who interact with me will do so also.   

And to think, I just went there expecting some interesting information on adoption and foster care.

Throw Those Balls

On Saturday, March 28th, we had 60 people come out to play dodgeball. Not only did we have 60 players, but we had another 20-30 people who came out to watch. The result; over $2,600 was raised for Oasis. What is Oasis? You can read about it here.

Special Thanks

We would like to thank four different sponsors who helped make this tournament a success. 

1. Renew Elkhart - Renew helped us by paying for the rental of the facility as well as the $200 gift card which was the prize for the winning team. 
2. Barnes Chiropractic - They were one of our $250 sponsors. If you are looking for a chiropractor in the Elkhart area, be sure to check out Dr. Barnes.
3. Encompass Nutrients - They were also one of our $250 sponsors. If you are looking for a great multi-vitamin check out their site. If you order using this link they will donate 28% of your order to Village to Village.
4. First Place Trophy - First Place Trophy donated all the trophies for the tournament. They are located on CR 20 in Elkhart, IN.

Thank you to all of our sponsors for helping us make this event a success and making sure that all the money that comes in from this event goes to help children.

So who won? Here are the results...

Champion

Lifeline

Second Place

Average Joes

Third Place

Illiana

If you would like to have some fun playing dodgeball and raise some money for a good cause, we can help you do that. Email Matt at matt@villagetovillageintl.com if you are interested. It takes very little planning and is a blast.

Spring Is Here!

One of my favorite (if not, my favorite) times of year is here; Spring. I love the feeling of the hot sun on a cool day, the feeling of wanting to wear shorts because it is 50 degrees outside, seeing people outside, the longer daylight hours and so much more.

Every year when Spring comes it reminds me of new life. Seeing the trees come back to life after the cold dark winter is a very hope-filled feeling. When I think about our work with children from hard places; whether it be children in foster care, those who are awaiting adoption, those who have been adopted, those who many never be adopted, I am reminded of the One who gives new life, the One who makes old things new again, the One who makes right the wrongs, the One who redeems.

So as spring is upon us may we allow this time of year to remind us to never give up hope on the kids we are trying to help, the kids who have been dealt some pretty crappy hands, and may we be reminded of the One who is the ultimate hope giver: Jesus.

"The Lord alone is our radiant hope and we trust in Him with all our hearts. His wrap-around presence will strengthen us." - Psalm 33:20